Saturday, July 21, 2012

Attitude Is Everything

A few friends of mine posted the following sign on Facebook this morning, but I can't get it to copy into this blog, so I'll just give you the gist:
karma cleanse
*  be grateful
*  act with love
*  check your motives
*  watch your attitude
*  forgive
(it had cute little emoticons on it and everything--this is irritating!)

It really fits with my mindset lately.  The hardest bit of advice for me to follow has been the gratitude.   I think somewhere in the last year, I have been on a roller coaster ride that keeps dipping into the negative.  I am not sure that I have been grateful on a regular basis.  Or at least, I have let myself dwell in the things I don't have rather than the blessings I've been given. 

I am one of those people who see-saws between Pollyanna and Negative Nelly.  When I'm up, there is nothing that I can't do.  I can be Queen of the Universe. 
See?  The Queen.  Doncha fuhgit it!

When I'm down, I'm really down.  The whole world caves in. 
Kinda like this but without the call to my homeowner's insurance.

But I am seeing more and more that there are so many things in my life for which to to be grateful.  I am currently reading this book that suggests that I write down 10 blessings in my life every day for 28 days.  But the book says don't just write down the blessings, write WHY I am grateful for them.  The blessings I can rattle off easily.  On the 2nd day, I actually was an overachiever and wrote TWENTY blessings. 

I'm gonna put this on my refrigerator

But it's the WHY part that's hard, or maybe just the verbalizing the why.  Why is it a blessing that I have been married to the same man for 20 years?  (ok, that's an easy one)  Why is my job a blessing?  My house?   The air I breathe?    It's forced me to think about why I am thankful for the very good things in my life.  But that in turn has made me even more grateful for those things. 

And it's also hard to come up with 10 new things each day.  I sometimes repeat.  I sometimes have trite, odd blessings and reasons (yesterday, I wrote that I was grateful for the rain because I could sit around and be lazy all day).  But I've noticed that I FEEL happier. 

Of course, I'm only on Day 3 of doing this.  I know that there will be days where I don't feel it or where things beyond my control put me in a negative mood.  But I need to find the blessing in what I can learn from the bad things and remember to glance at the Serenity Prayer that sits above my refrigerator. 
This is actually a tattoo.   I'm not sure I'd have the patience or pain tolerance to sit through a tattoo any more.

Most of all, I need to remember that attitude is everything. It defines who you are, so if you have a good one, life will be much happier. 

"Don't worry.  Be happy."

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Deja Vu

Yesterday, the kids had their annual doctor's appointments.  For the most part, visits to the doctor are pretty stress-free, the occasional fear that there will be shot (mostly from the 17 year old), a few uncomfortable moments when the doctor has to look at private parts.  But yesterday, we had something brand new. 

Body image issues.  

It seems that the daughter put on some weight.  I won't say how much, but it was enough to set her over the edge.  See, apparently, the Wii Fit (see my post from yesterday) was NOT just being maniacal and causing trouble.  No, apparently, sonny boy lied when he said Wii Fit had weighed him 15 pounds heavier, so the weight that my daughter fretted about throughout the day was actually correct by the doctor's scale as well.  And THAT was a problem.  
I hate you!  I hate you!  I hate you!

I have often said that my daughter is way more level-headed than I was as a teen.  She is not super boy-crazy.  She is confident in herself.  She has good judgment.  I guess I got cocky.  I guess I figured she was immune to those nagging and often paralyzing blows to self-confidence that plagued my teenagehood.

I guess I was wrong.

One stupid number on a scale ruined her entire day.  She refused to eat.  She went to bed at 8.  She told me that she is "unlikable" and that she didn't need this kind of stress (I believe the stress of watching what she eats).  I tried to be supportive.  I tried to tell her that if her clothes didn't fit differently, she was probably fine.  I tried to tell her that she was still well within the range of healthy.  It didn't matter.

It hadn't mattered with me either.

So, my fear is that she will end up like me...on an endless barrage of diets and exercise regimes...constantly feeling bad about what I eat and what I look like.  I have tried not to show that dark side to her.  I have not overtly complained about my weight or the way I look.  But maybe I sent nonverbal signals.  Maybe I modeled something I didn't intend.  Or maybe she's fallen into the all-too-typical teen girl angst of poor self-image like so many of her friends.  I know of at least 1 who is always on a diet.

So how do I teach her to love herself?  How do I make her see that a number on a scale doesn't define who you are when I often find myself thinking that it does?  It's deja vu all over again, and it's a roller coaster ride I really wish she could skip.  

Here we go again

Monday, July 9, 2012

Dear Wii Fit,

Today I had to talk my daughter down from a ledge because YOU said that she had gained 15 pounds.  You are incorrect, Wii Fit.  You weighed my son 15 pounds heavier earlier this week.  You might have caused an eating disorder; at very least, you caused a half an hour of tears from a girl who hasn't really worried about her weight until now.  I am making my very angriest face.

You  suck!!! 

A Disgruntled Mother Who Struggles With Her Own Body Image and Refuses to Get On Your Defective A$$

The cause of teen girl angst this morning

Friday, July 6, 2012

Sizzle Sizzle

This summer has to be the hottest in years.  Maybe not, but after weeks of temperatures in the 90s and 100s (!), I'm ready for some cool breezes. 

I have to admit, I prefer warmer weather to cooler.  I LOVED that we had a mild winter.  I'm what you'd call a "Winter Hater" (ok, so I might call me that).  I would rather be anyplace tropical than deal with one tenth of an inch of snow. 

But this is ridiculous.  My body has produced so much sweat that I think that I am going to apply for lake resort status for my belly button.  Even the pool is like bath water, and THAT'S not refreshing. 

Makes Texas look downright cool, don't it, Mr. Ex-President?

If we do not get some relief soon, I may even actually (GASP!) wish for autumn!!!