Tuesday, November 6, 2012

And then I told my teenagers that their father was a "stallion" in bed

I'm going to quit driving my kids places.  True story from last night's 10 minute drive with the teens to drop them off at their activities:

18 Year Old Son:  Mom, can I have sex since I'm 18 now and technically an adult?

Me:  You can have sex now that you're 18 but you probably shouldn't.  I don't want any grandchildren.

Son:  Well, if I'm gonna have sex and get some girl pregnant, it better be worth it.

Me: (remaining calm because we've had this conversation before) I think it's probably worth it.  Otherwise, people wouldn't have sex if they didn't want babies.  Not that I want either of you to have sex until you're ready.

15 Year Old Daughter:  Well, now that you've made it seems so interesting....

Me:  I'd think that it would already be interesting.  (to son) Maybe you should talk to your friends who are having sex and ask them these questions.

Son:  None of them are having sex.

Me:  (sarcastically) What's happened to kids today?  In my day, we were doing it like monkeys.

Son:  So you had sex when you were a teenager.

Me:  I didn't say me.

Daughter:  But you said "we."

Son:  And you dated Dad in high school.  (to his sister).  Mom and Dad did it.

Me:  I didn't say that.  

Son:  Do you and Dad have still do it?

Me:  That's really none of your business.  You're a little too interested in my sex life.

Son:  Well, you said it was worth it.

Me:  What do you want me to tell you--that your father is a stallion in bed?

Daughter:  Who thinks puppies are cute?  I think puppies are cute.  What about you guys?  Do you think puppies are cute?

The conversation only went downhill from there.  I think their father needs to take them to their activities.  He says the conversations are not NEARLY as uncomfortable.  

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