Bah, Humbug, St. Valentine!

That Hallmark holiday surrounding a saint is almost upon us. You know the day, ladies. It's the day that we get flowers, candy, jewelry, and other tokens that are supposed to prove our man's love for us. Except for probably most of us, our man will not take the umpteen reminders as a hint and will be scouring the grocery stores February 14th for a card...any card...that even mentions Valentine's Day.

Frankly, I always hated the Hallmark holidays...Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Squirrel Day (ok, I think I may have made that last one up). If it can be celebrated, Hallmark's got a card for it. But I think it puts a lot of pressure on people who really probably don't need the extra stress.

Seriously, in these tough economic times, does Tony really need to spend the gas money on a dozen red roses? Knowing my track record for the shelf life of flowers I'm given (I might remember to put them in a vase of water), it's probably not the wisest investment. And candy? The fact of the matter is, he gives me candy and the kids expect me to SHARE it (get your own, ya little ankle biters!), and then HE expects me to share. And if I don't? I gain weight! Cupid's karma. Whatever. And those ooky cards make me cringe like nobody's business.Folks , I've been married 19 and 1/2 years to the same person. Smoochie, shmoopie, doopie drivel makes me want to vomit those pretty candy hearts up all over the floor. I'd rather get a card like this:

And what about the people who don't have Valentine's? I remember those days--the high school carnation sales. Those pretty girls got a lovely pink or red or white carnation delivered right in the middle of last mod class. Ok, so some of them had friends who felt the need to overcompensate because there was no special someone, but I had lame friends in addition to a lack of boyfriends, so did I get a carnation? NOPE! (And I'm not bitter--really--grrrr!).

So, this year, I'm going to boycott the commercialism that is Valentine's Day. Take THAT, Hallmark! I'm going to spend the OTHER 364 days (well, 365...it IS a Leap Year), and show my husband how much he means to me. Ok, well, maybe not 364...maybe it could be a bi-weekly thing. Of course, if he wants to get me that box of chocolates (that I don't have to share), I can't stop him, and maybe that Target sales catalog with all the chocolate candies circled in bright red is a little bit of a hint, but I'm boycotting, I tell ya!

Happy V-Day, y'all!