Thankfully Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving time is here again.  Not that you would know from all the CHRISTMAS commercials blitzing up the television airwaves, flyers, and mailings.  Shit, Black Friday actually starts on THANKSGIVING THURSDAY this year.  It makes me wanna say to the marketing people who think of these things:

Obligatory cute kitten meme! 

But Thanksgiving deserves its own kudos.  I have so much for which to be thankful.  It's sometimes hard to see it in the dark times, but I do.  And I HATE it that the holiday doesn't always get the respect it deserves.  I have a friend who has posted since Halloween ended "Respect the turkey."  There are plenty of memes out there that support her point of view.

Yeah, like that...

And you know what?  She's right.  So I am thankful that tomorrow is Thanksgiving.  I am thankful that tomorrow I will run a 3.1 mile race, then gorge my gut with turkey that I don't even have to cook (my mother-in-law takes that task on).  I am thankful for the opportunity to spend quality time with my family. 

I am just thankful...

And then I told my teenagers that their father was a "stallion" in bed

I'm going to quit driving my kids places.  True story from last night's 10 minute drive with the teens to drop them off at their activities:

18 Year Old Son:  Mom, can I have sex since I'm 18 now and technically an adult?

Me:  You can have sex now that you're 18 but you probably shouldn't.  I don't want any grandchildren.

Son:  Well, if I'm gonna have sex and get some girl pregnant, it better be worth it.

Me: (remaining calm because we've had this conversation before) I think it's probably worth it.  Otherwise, people wouldn't have sex if they didn't want babies.  Not that I want either of you to have sex until you're ready.

15 Year Old Daughter:  Well, now that you've made it seems so interesting....

Me:  I'd think that it would already be interesting.  (to son) Maybe you should talk to your friends who are having sex and ask them these questions.

Son:  None of them are having sex.

Me:  (sarcastically) What's happened to kids today?  In my day, we were doing it like monkeys.

Son:  So you had sex when you were a teenager.

Me:  I didn't say me.

Daughter:  But you said "we."

Son:  And you dated Dad in high school.  (to his sister).  Mom and Dad did it.

Me:  I didn't say that.  

Son:  Do you and Dad have still do it?

Me:  That's really none of your business.  You're a little too interested in my sex life.

Son:  Well, you said it was worth it.

Me:  What do you want me to tell you--that your father is a stallion in bed?

Daughter:  Who thinks puppies are cute?  I think puppies are cute.  What about you guys?  Do you think puppies are cute?

The conversation only went downhill from there.  I think their father needs to take them to their activities.  He says the conversations are not NEARLY as uncomfortable.  

Where Are You?

My Facebook page has exploded with a very important debate--no, not the upcoming election (although it's exploded with that).  The "bandwagon" status of posting what all the things for which you're grateful in the month of November.  People have jumped on or completely blasted those who have decided to jump on.  And I am just aghast at how ugly this has become.

Those of you who read my blog know that several months ago, I read a book that said that gratitude was one of the biggest ways in life to get what you want.  One of the exercises that the book recommended was writing 10 things per day for which I was grateful and WHY I was grateful for them.  And I did...every day.  Since July, I have only missed 2 days.  So, when the November "month of thanks" statuses started, I have to admit, I was a bandwagon jumper.  What's one more thing?  Sometimes it's something from my gratitude journal and that's ok.

Here's the thing.  The end of November is traditionally the start of a several month long battle with depression for me.  It's darker, it's colder, and there are a lot of bad and sad memories associated with  those cold winter months.  It starts on November 30th with my mother's birthday (she passed when I was 12), moves to 18 days later on December 17th with the anniversary of her death, then we have the hustle and bustle and craziness of Christmas, followed by the anniversary of my father's death on January 18th.  February gives a reprieve, only to have my dad's birthday in March.  Some years I deal just fine with it; some years, not so fine.  But finding the good in my life helps.  It is where I am.  It's what I need to do.

At the same time, I realize that other people are where they are.  I can imagine that for some, the month long reading of Mary Sunshine posts can be grating.  I've read some that make me go "Ugh!" and I'm on the bandwagon!  And that is where some people are.

Then, there are those who have raged against the hypocrisy of the whole thing.  Why is November the only month to be grateful?  Again, I agree.  Some people will use this month as a launching pad to be grateful every day of their lives.  Others will begin griping as soon as midnight December 1st happens, IF they make it through the month.  Some are already grateful everyday and don't feel the need to bother their Facebook friends with it.  Some are so knee-deep in whatever demons they have that they cannot find the good (or there may not be good). 

My point is, we are all in different places in our lives.  I know where I am.  I know what I have to do and don't have to do.  I am also aware that others are in a different place, and I respect that.  I just hope that friendships are not destroyed because we can't meet people where they are because that would certainly be a shame. 

Adulthood, Responsibilities, and Alice Cooper

So, last Saturday, I became the parent of an adult.  No, I didn't go adopt some poor underprivileged 35 year old from the seedy side of town (Tony never lets me have any fun).  My son turned 18. 

Isn't he a good-lookin' thing?  Takes after his mama!

Now, I know you're thinking, "How can this be?   She's so young, so full of life.  She can't be much more than 18 herself!" 

No really, you ARE thinking that, RIGHT???

But no, I am the parent of an 18 year old, and I didn't really have him at the age of 6.   And if you're thinking this is shocking, imagine how I feel.

It seems like just yesterday that I was holding this tiny little baby with tufts of black hair in my arms.  Boy, was I scared.  I mean, I could've DROPPED that bundle...like on the floor...which wasn't clean...because I'm a horrible housekeeper and always was.  Where did that last 18 years go?    It sure went by fast.

But I hope that he has a few years of fun left before he's saddled with the drudgery that most of us adults face:  bills, family responsibilities. You know--pay your bills, go to work, raise your children, die.
Ok, maybe not.   After all, he's 18, and he don't know what he wants.

Right, Alice?

But I know what I want for him.  A good life.  

Paperwork & Nostalgia

Here's a quote from the late Frank Zappa that has really been fitting my life in the last week and a half: 

"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

Yeah, THAT Frank Zappa...father of Moon Unit and Dweezil...rock god....visionary...dead.

I have said before that the months of September through June are a whirlwind of running and working and craziness that exhaust me.  Love my job...really...but every year, there is more paperwork...more and more forms to fill out in triplicate...more tree killin'.  

TIMBERRRRRRRR....

This year has been no exception.  When I started in special education years ago, IEPs (that's Individualized Education Plans for you lay folks) were like 8 pages long...half the time, that INCLUDED the signature page.  Nowadays, the IEP is around 23 pages long...and that's not even considered one of the complicated ones.  Yep, that's 15 extra pages of legal mumbo jumbo, filler, and jargon. And let's not start on all the extra forms that need to be filled out.  Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork...It seems to have taken over my life.

Send in a rescue squad!!!

But let's not forget the 2nd part of Zappa's quote...nostalgia.  With all this paperwork, nostalgia for summertime has also run rampant in my head.  I miss the carefree days of 2 weeks ago.  I miss my youth when I didn't have anything to do but go to school and worry whether the boy I liked liked me back.  I miss the days of being the supported, not the supporter.  It can be quite a stressful feeling to want to go back. 

Because who WOULDN'T wanna go back to high school 80s hair and clothes???

 So, bring on the fire and ice.  I'm not afraid.  Because I've faced paperwork and nostalgia and lived to tell about it.  But something tells me, Mr. Zappa may have a point...

Back To School...

There's a Staples commercial that has been on around this time every year for the last few years.  Perhaps you've seen it.  A father skipping playfully through the store to the tune of "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" while his melancholy kiddos follow sadly behind and the voice-over announces happily, "They're going back [to school]..."  Yeah this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwcYbo7pjto



Sadly, not every parent is excited about the beginning of a new school year.  Say if you're a teacher...um, like me...you might not be quite as excited.  You might even want to cry into your Froot Loops when you roll out of bed at 9 or 10 am for the last time for 10 months. 

Yeah, like this...

Tomorrow, I will be back to work again.  Now let me just say, I'm grateful to have "work" to go back to.  Many people do not have a job right now.  And I really do love what I do.  I didn't JUST become a teacher for the 2 and a half month vacation.  I really, REALLY love being a teacher. 

No, I really, really do love it!!!

But I know that with the start of school comes the start of the 10 month mayhem that I call my life.  Every year, it gets busier and more jam-packed.  Every year, it gets more exhausting (probably because I'm getting old and crotchety).  So, I take a deeeeeeep breath and head to the starting line again. 

I

On your mark, get set...

But lest you think me ungrateful for the summer I've had, here are my top 10 picks (not in any order) of the things that made my summer blessed:

1.  I am grateful for the time spent with my children.  We spent a quality summer together.
2.  I am grateful that I was able to have quality time with the ball & chain when he was able to take off work (especially Date Night at the wine bar).
3.  I am grateful that I got to go to King's Dominion TWICE in one summer.
4.  I am grateful that I was able to spend some great quality time with 3 great gals in North Carolina.
 5.  I am grateful for the family reunion with my cousins, aunts, and uncles in New Jersey.
6.  I am grateful for an entire summer spent at the pool soaking up that Vitamin D and socializing with friends.
7.  I am grateful for beautiful weather throughout the summer.
8.  I am grateful for sleeping in on many days.
9.  I am grateful for chasing chickens and goats at a farm with good friends (and food that was soooo yummy!).
10.  I am grateful for summer evenings at the carnivals. 

So, goodbye, Summer 2012.  I will miss you terribly.  But it's going to be a terrific school year, and I will look forward to your sibling, Summer 2013. 

Breathing Room

Last weekend, I went on a girls' weekend with 2 friends to visit a 3rd friend in Ashville, North Carolina. 


We spent the weekend drinking, talking, drinking some more, laughing, singing, drinking, ziplining, and drinking...oh, and we drank a little, too. 

A Grrrlz Weekend favorite

I have gone away from my family a couple of times in the 20 years I've been married.  I find that it gives me some breathing room.  I'm not unhappy in my life, nor do I want out of my situation.  In the spirit of recent posts, let me just state right now that I feel blessed to have such a wonderful, loving husband and 3 awesome children (remind me I said they're awesome when they've worked on a nerve or 2). 

Yeah, that nerve...

It's just that every now and then, I need a break.  Not a long one.  But a break.  Breathing room.  Time to be me--not Mom or wife or teacher or taxi driver.  Time when I can visit new places and try new things...all on my own. 

This year's "new thing" to try--Navitat Canopy Adventures.  Not me in this pic but I did this zipline. 

I had an awesome time.  I bonded with some great gals, and I pushed myself on a zipline.  And I came back--better mother, wife, and person for it.  And THAT is yet another blessing to count.